My daughter came out to us as trans 6 months ago. Six consistent months. This is our new normal. Things have settled down and things are just our new normal and a non-issue for the most part.
My MIL still has issues with using the right name and pronouns. I struggle with this. My SIL tries to excuse it as “she always gets pronouns wrong” (pronouns in ASL are actually gender neutral) and “she has a hard time pronouncing Jessica”. I don’t buy it though. She gets most other people’s pronouns right 98% of the time. But rarely gets Jessi’s right. She still uses her old nickname for Jessi from before. It oddly doesn’t seem to bother Jessi, but it’s making me crazy. I keep trying to correct her, but she just doesn’t seem to understand how important this is. She’s not intentionally being rude or anything, but just that her brain is NOT making the switch.
Greg it seems has more or less lost a friend. The friend still chats with him online and via text, but has stopped inviting us to things and has avoided our invites to things. Which cuts him off from most of his old HS friends. I didn’t love that group, so I’m not too upset about it except for the fact that I know it hurts him a bit and I’m of course protective of him. But I’m not that surprised, that group isn’t the most socially accepting group and I’m not the least bit surprised that they aren’t supportive.
There might be others who aren’t supportive, there probably are, but if they are, they keep it to themselves, which is all I ask.
Other than that, the hiccups that we initially hit seem to have blown over. My parents are now on board, if a tiny bit awkward about it still. The DCF drama of course was determined to be unfounded. And we have a ton of friends and family who are super supportive, even some unexpected ones.
I feel like 6 months is a somewhat significant milestone. I feel that it allows us enough time to finally be able to tell the doubters that “oh hey look, this is real. See? Not a phase.” Which feels good. I was always pretty sure it wasn’t a phase, but I know that others will take us more seriously about it now that a few months have gone by.
Now tomorrow is the first of several appointments with doctors who have only known her by her deadname. Wish us luck…
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